A Cup of Coffee – Frost Them All

Welcome back! Last week, we revisited a former blog called Stay. If you missed that blog and would like to catch up, click HERE.

As many of you already know, I am leaving my position on December 31st and we are revisiting some of the most meaningful blogs I’ve posted over the years. This week’s blog was by special request.

One of the most important things to the Foundation is relationships. I’ve been honored to come into contact with some of the finest people known to the Osteopathic Community. Among them, is a lady by the name of Barbara Sah. Barbara’s husband is a retired Osteopathic Doctor and she and I struck up an email/telephone relationship after the posting of this blog. It became her favorite, and at her request, it is reposting this week, as we count down to our last day with the Foundation.

As we enter week number 6, I bring you “Frost Them All”…I will miss you, Miss Barbara…

Last night, I was frosting some cupcakes, and suddenly the blog I was going to post wasn’t as important as this blog is going to be. At least in my opinion. If I’m wrong, please forgive me.

My friend, former co-worker, and current roommate will be 50 tomorrow. A huge milestone. I remember it well.

She’s had a long 50 years. A single mom in the greatest sense of the word (dad isn’t around), she’s dedicated her entire career to helping those with mental illness (which is where we met), taking care of her elderly parents until they recently passed (within 10 days of each other), and taking care of her 11-year-old son.

After her parents died, she adopted two cats. One became the “healer” of sorts. and a comfort pet for her son. The pain of losing her parents so closely together was just too much for both of them. They bonded with the new additions, and it was a beautiful thing.

Then, their apartment caught fire, and everything burned up while they were away. Both cats perished, and that’s the story of how she and her son came to live at the Tate Estate.

I wish I could tell you these are the only trials she’s faced, but they aren’t. Relationships, being houseless, and recently a huge health issue, have all created in her an ability to just “roll with the punches” until she can’t, and then she disappears into her bed, or out in the world until things make sense again, and she’s ready for the next round.

I admire people that can come back like that. Over and over and over and over, punch her, and her head snaps back. Maybe even with a smile on her face.

She and her son moved in after the fire and instead of wallowing in her situation, she’s out in our yard weeding, chasing our chickens back over the fence, doing dishes, laundry, and cooking meals. Punch, snap, smile…punch, snap, smile. We laugh over coffee about our therapy appointments, “We’re all in therapy here!“. We worry about our health issues while scrolling through Dr. Google and reminding each other that this isn’t good medical advice. It’s most likely being written by a child. She’s a good friend.

So, back to the cupcakes. I was baking them for her birthday today. I bought some special cupcake tins, and wanted these cupcakes to be breathtaking…the kind you see in magazines. She deserved stellar cupcakes, but regardless of intent, I couldn’t deliver.

I overfilled the tins and the result for most of the cupcakes was disastrous…at least it appeared so at first glance. The batter boiled over the sides as it baked, creating all kinds of interesting shapes. And then there was “that one“…the one that came out perfectly perfect.

As I sat there, pondering my cupcakes, I suddenly realized they were a direct reflection of life. Were they magazine-ready? Nope. A little out of shape? Yep. Marching to their own little drums….hahahahaha, yasssss!

I was starting to like them.

They may have been all of these things and more, but I guarantee you, what’s on the inside didn’t change a bit. Add that frosting, and you have the same cupcake as depicted in the magazines. Tasty and simply marvelous. Nothing wrong with them. Absolutely nothing.

So, just like my friend, they may have their ups and downs, curves and corners, oopsie daisies, and “how did this happen” moments, but dang it, slap some frosting on that thing, and they will all eat the same.

Our ability to adapt and overcome is so important. Life blows you kisses until it doesn’t, and when it doesn’t, bouncing back can sometimes be hard. The ability to see that this is just a setback and not the end of the game often depends on where your mental health is at. Sometimes depression kicks in, and what appeared to be doable yesterday is cause for concern today. Digging a little deeper and getting help when you need it is a strength, not a weakness. Put some frosting on what troubles you.

Life can be so beautiful, regardless of the bumps in the road…or in the oven. Love yourself the same way I’m choosing to love these misshapen cupcakes tonight. Bake yourself some cupcakes and love them, just how they come out of the oven, and frost them all, folks. Frost. Them. All. You will feel so much better. Look in the mirror, and relate to those cupcakes. Remember to tell yourself that you’re perfectly perfect, just the way you are.